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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Father! - to God himself we cannot give a holier name. ~William Wordsworth
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. ~Sam Ewing
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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