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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
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You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience. ~Author Unknown
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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